• Carolyn

Work - Life Balance

Aren’t there a lot of us who think this very thought too often in our lives? You might want to achieve certain, say, fitness goals for yourself but In order to go to the gym, you will need to leave your baby or children with the husband or the in laws and you feel like you are not being a good enough mother because you want to take some time out for yourself? One hour in the day for yourself. But of course, you probably won’t because the happiness of the family matters more than yours, doesn’t it? They matter more than you. The only way to be a good mother is to show up for everyone else, exactly the way they want you to and expect you to.

Girls, you get one chance at this life. You cannot waste it living only for everyone else. You might think I am sounding incredibly selfish here, but you have to make yourself a priority, you really have to.

Let me speak about a myth, which in my opinion is something which cannot be achieved. WORK - LIFE BALANCE. How do you maintain this balance? It is the million-dollar question for every working mother out there. How do you balance your job and your kids and family? It is a question worth addressing even if for nothing more than hearing that there are numerous other moms who struggle with this too. Work-Life Balance is a myth. I don’t think that anyone actually achieves it. The term itself suggests that work and life are two thing which live in harmony. What a joke!

Let me use an example form my own life. I have had to say no recently to an incredible opportunity from a leading web platform because the schedule required me for too many days and very long hours and it was right slap bang in the middle of the school holidays, when the kids would be home all day, every day. I said no to that job.

And I can’t even begin to tell you how many football games & dance showcases I have missed, just because I haven’t been able to make it back in time from work to be present for them and to sheer me on.

It would kill me, the thought that all the other moms were there and my child didn’t have his/hers present. Mommy Guilt. I gave it tremendous power and it left me feeling sick to the core. Mommy guilt is this horrible feeling which lodges itself deep in your heart and it festers away unless you actively choose to kill it. Mommy guilt will remind you of all the ways you are failing your children by not being present for them or by serving cereal for breakfast most mornings, or by forgetting to sign a notice from school. It’s okay, you just forgot to sign it. Your mind is filled with a list of 594 different things which have to be done that day, for work and for the kids and if you forgot to sign the damn notice it is fine!! Beating yourself up probably won’t help you remember the next time anyway

This feeling of guilt doesn’t serve you in any way, neither does it serve your children. Don’t feel guilty yourself and do not allow your family or friends to make you feel guilty or lesser of a mother. Don’t you know, deep down, that you are doing everything you can do? If yes, then you are doing enough, most certainly. We all love our children and we will not do anything to leave them wanting for more.

Remember, no law has been passed to say that mothers are supposed to mother flawlessly. We are all just doing our damn best. It is very possible to pursue something you love while showing up for the people you love as well. It is possible to be a great mother and a great businesswoman. All you got to do is change your definition of the word ‘great’.

You are amazing.


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